• Farida Pedhiwala

How to be a good Mother of the Bride

Yes its true, daughters often turn into Bridezillas over the course of the few months leading up to her wedding. And we know you’re facing a whirl wind of emotion, it’s a huge responsibility, and mother always knows best! But every now and then, we hear the occasional mom say, “I don’t know how best to be there for her?!” And there’s tons of material on the internet to help brides through this journey, so we put together this article, that’s just for you Moms.

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Discuss wedding outfits with the mother of the groom.

No doubt you’ll spend many conversations discussing what the bride and groom will wear, but it is also important to discuss what both the mothers will wear to the events. It may seem trivial, and we know that your own wardrobe is the last thing on your mind, but it will be worth it I promise! It would be a wonderful bonding experience, and it’s so nice when the two mothers have a coordinated look. Saris? Salwar Kameez’s? What colours should the dress be? You simply want to make sure that one isn’t going to be under (or over) dressed compared to the other- and that you don’t both end up wearing the same thing!

This is your daughter’s moment to shine!

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Although no mother would dream of doing this on purpose, it’s easy to get carried away in the moment. Yes it’s a celebration, but think of the options before you order the latest design and colours for your outfit or decide to give that cheeky hair-do a try. You want to be the epitome of sophistication and maturity, and for that you can’t be wearing the same style as your daughter! You certainly don’t need to have a wardrobe from the 60’s just make sure the colours and styles reflect your role as a mother-in-law. Save the bright red nail paint for that evening out with your girls!

Avoid wearing the same colour as the bride!

In continuation to the above, you want to make sure you aren’t wearing the same colour as the bride on any of the wedding functions. She may not have requested this, but it’s just a little courtesy.

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You will be in a lot of photographs together and you want to make sure you don’t match her on the big day. Also, try not to pick a colour that’s brighter than the brides colour! If shes going with a pastel pink, keep your fuscia for another event! The idea is simple. You want to make sure the bride is the central focus of every event and every photo.

Give in, every now and then.

You may not love that flavour of cake or you may hate the idea of having canopies at the reception, but let the couple have it anyway. Even with the best of intentions, disallowing the bride and groom to have the occasional say will leave a bit of a bitter taste in their mouth. Working as a family will make the bonds stronger and they will love you even more for it. If you absolutely must disagree, then pick your battles, make your case for that one or two things that you cannot give in on and be prepared to make some sacrifices in other areas.

Get to know the In-laws.

This is going to be your daughter’s new family and if they have managed to raise a son who is the apple of your daughters eye, then you obviously have some things in common. Plan a lunch date, just the two moms, get to know each other, and make sure to not talk exclusively of the wedding.

Have any more tips for a mother of the bride? What were your experiences in playing the role? Daughters, how best do you think your mom supported you through the wedding journey? Share your ideas by leaving a comment below.

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